Saturday, December 24, 2005

A Christmas Confession

Well, folks, it's impossible. I made a valiant effort to watch all the bowl games, and it's just not possible.

The story of Switters and the Bowl Games will not end up like Braveheart, Troy, Gladiator, or even Star Wars I, II, III, IV, V, or VI. It's not going to end with the hero (Switters) overcoming all obstacles to accomplish the ultimate goal and live on (or die) with my goals accomplished and the cause forever committed to posterity.

Nope, this story ends with Achilles, the tragic hero, just struggling to make it through the first quarter of the Kansas vs. Houston Fort Worth Bowl, in defeat, succumbing to all that was supposed to make him stronger. Shitty teams, shitty days to watch football, and less luster than could ever be imagined.

It started off strong. I watched the New Orleans Bowl. I watched the hometown Toledo Rockets dismantle UTEP's defense (that quarterback is going to be a star someday). I watched Cal against the Mormons, and really thought that I was going to make it. Then came Kansas vs. Houston. I'm not going to lie, it was family time at my house, I was trying to spend quality time with the family and still make me look not insane for wanting to watch this bowl game.

But by the time Trey Anastasio came on Austin City Limits on PBS, all bets were off. The bowl game challenge faded in my mind like so many other promises I've made and bets I've welched on. I gave up. I knew it was over.

So now I'm going to go back to being a normal football fan. I'll watch Michigan/Nebraska, Clemson/Colorado, Boise State/BC, Northwestern/UCLA, Miami/LSU, and all the bowls after New Year's Day. But I think the lesson that must be taken from this failed attempt at heroism is that a playoff system is the only way to keep people interested in more than 10 bowls. It must be done.

I tried, I failed, and for that I shall be put to death. And by death, I mean I'll be forced to watch the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl. Wish me luck.

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