OLN's New College Football Look

Remember the Outdoor Life Network? Who brought us the Tour de France when Lance Armstrong was dominating year after year (Only Lance Network)? The same channel that is more obscurely known for airing shows like 'L.L. Bean's Guide to the Outdoors' and 'World of Beretta?' Would it surprise you to learn that they've started airing live college football games?

Me too. And it surprised me even more that this weekend, they're airing the Utah game against my beloved Boise State Broncos on Saturday. Hip hip hooray.

Apparently, if the following commerical is any indication, OLN's getting in on the college football action in a deal with the Mountain West Conference and making it hip with an edgy new nom de plume to appeal to the collegiate crowd, Versus. (They even have a whole new section on their website devoted to bulls.) Since I will now be watching the Boise State game, it works for me. OLN, er, Versus, you've earned a viewer.

Chat Transcript: Football Overload

nastyb: is iowa/osu on abc?

switters: yeep
it's the saturday night game
what's your take on iowa/osu

nastyb: rad
i think osu is going to win

switters: i think we're going to roll
honestly i usually don't feel like this
if they've given up points to terrible terrible teams
like Syracuse we can surely score a bunch

nastyb: yeah
but weird shit happens at kinnick stadium
that's the only thing to watch out for
plus tate's the best QB in the history of the universe
he wasn't there when iowa eeked it out over syracuse
the terrible power of his glare gives the defense strength

switters: right
after stanton

nastyb: he's number two, in the universe

switters: you forgot about stanton

nastyb: that's who i was talking about
tate #1
stanton #2
god #3
jesus christ #4 (tied)
brady quinn #4 (tied)
that's the universal ranking of QBs
stanton beats god because he's a good scrambler
while god is more a of pro-style, pocket passer

switters: so what's the deal with scouts
you know they do the advantages thing
for each position
for this game
they give "coach" to iowa

nastyb: ferentz is the best coach in the universe

switters: right
how exactly is ferentz a better coach than tressel?

nastyb: well, since he's smarter than any human being that has ever lived, and tressel is smarter than all but one human being that ever lived, ferentz is the better coach.

switters: hahaha
nice
i guess that makes sense
thanks for sorting that out for me

nastyb: iowa makes sense
and they try hard
but ohio state's going to win
isn't the line like 7?

switters: yes

nastyb: crazy
that's too close for my taste

switters: easily cover

nastyb: you think?

switters: yes
we haven't won by less than 17
Sent at 10:53 AM on Friday

switters: iowa gave up 13 to syracuse and 17 to iowa stat
not sure how that plays out but our offensive attack is so balanced
Sent at 10:57 AM on Friday

nastyb: what do you think of vanderbilt -34 over temple

switters: that's a crazy line

nastyb: i'm betting on Boise State +5 at Utah because i know they're going to win that game

switters: +5 at utah???
really?

nastyb: yeah
boise state's the underdog
i don't get it

switters: when is that game
this weekend
Sent at 12:01 PM on Friday

nastyb: noon tomorrow
TCU lost last night to BYU, which clears the road for Boise State as the lurking mid-major with BCS prospects

switters: nice

nastyb: read it: 'team of destiny.'

switters: boise state is tough

nastyb: that's why utah is doomed.

switters: well
i feel the same about my team to be honest

nastyb: well that's too bad because i feel that way about my other team too
and we all know there can only be one team of destiny in the big ten

switters: pretty much all your teams are on a destiny thing huh

nastyb: when it's on its pretty hard to deny it
and i'm zeroed in on the destiny waves

switters: i agree

nastyb: i said it about texas before last year

switters: beating the defending national champion in their stadium is a great start
i'm glad we're on the same page

nastyb: ???

Chat Transcript: Eating Crow on the Big East

switters:
looks like i was wrong about rutgers

Sent at 10:09 AM on Thursday

nastyb:
true dat
and the Big East in general
they're much better than the ACC

except for Temple
wait, Temple's independent aren't they

dang, i guess i was just so used to equating
inferiority with the new Big East

Sent at 10:44 AM on Thursday


A Thoughtful Addendum:

With both Louisville and West Virginia at convincing 4-0 starts, Pittsburgh and South Florida at 3-1, UConn on the rise as a school seemingly committed to its football program, and Syracuse registering a pulse for the first time since Donovan McNabb graduated, you've got to admit the Big East so far is making a better showing than the ACC.

But Rutgers at 4-0 has got to be the biggest surprise so far, cracking the AP Top 25 for the first time since Jesus died.

I've witnessed the Garden State's mad obsession with high school football first hand and have always wondered why the state school in New Jersey couldn't field a better team.

It comes down to recruiting of course, and Jersey has been historically raped and pillaged of its star prospects like a feudal fiefdom each recruiting season by the ACC, SEC, Big 10, Notre Dame and other Big East schools. I think even the Ivy League steals a recruit or two from Rutgers.

But with a winning season in sight (they're legitimately a 3 loss team, with luck even better), and a Bowl Bid in the offing, the recruiting should pick up and we might see a good thing going in Jersey as well as the Big East.

Top 10 Plays of The Week

Compiled and finished in grainy, historical black and white by Break.com

Ohio State's Defense is TOUGH

I try to limit my Ohio State rants on this blog, but this is something I just can't deal with anymore.

Here's a gem from an ESPN "expert" chat THIS week, after Ohio State gave up 2 field goals to Penn State.

Seattle, WA: What's your prediction on the Ohio State - Iowa game?

SportsNation Mark Schlabach: I'll tell you what, I wouldn't be surprised at all if Iowa won the football game. Drew Tate is very good. It's his third year in the system and he is very smart. Ohio State's run defense is still suspect, so Albert Young could run for some heavy yardage. Ohio State has more speed on offense, but the game is in Iowa City. Kirk Ferentz could really shake things up this weekend.

Hmm. If ZERO rushing touchdowns given up in 4 games and an average of 115 yards allowed on the ground is suspect, then I'd like to have a suspect defense all season.

I hate to get statistical on you on a Tuesday, but let's take a look at what the Ohio State defense has done in 4 games:

*Allowed an average of 8 points
*16 sacks
*38 tackles for loss
*8 interceptions, 2 for touchdowns



And James Laurinaitis, the SOPHOMORE linebacker who had the potentially thankless job of following AJ Hawk as linebacker, has the following statistics:

36 tackles, 3 interceptions, 2 forced fumbles

This is not the defense of 2005, but this defense has the intensity, the speed, and the desire to carry this team when need be. Oh, and Mark Schlabach, you're an idiot.

Week 4: Everything According to Plan

Ohio State ground it out against a suprisingly tough Penn State defense. Anyone watched the game will know the final score doesn't reflect how close the contest really was, since Anthony 'Meat For Brains' Morelli threw a couple of ill-advised pick-sixes when Penn State was in their two-minute drill that let Ohio State pad their lead and cover the spread. Basically, blown coverage reads. But, give the Buckeyes some serious credit, they kept the lions out of the endzone and have allowed just 3 touchdowns all season. As Switters keeps asking, where are the questions about the inexperienced defense now?

Also, anyone notice Joe Pa scampering off the field with a sudden need attributed to flu about 8 minutes before halftime? Looked more like diarrhea, cha cha cha.

Up by 16 with 9 minutes to go in the fourth quarter seems pretty safe. Unless you happen to be the Michigan State Spartans. In which case you become totally ineffective in the 4th quarter, as if awaiting the inevitable late-game collapse. Unbelievable game and I can't decided what to make of it. Was it really a classic Sparty meltdown? Or is Notre Dame a good team? (Judging by their remaining schedule, I think they're looking like a two-loss team.)

All of the above, of course, begs another interesting question. Since Notre Dame was manhandled by Michigan, but handled Penn State, who made things tough for Ohio State, how good is Michigan? A little sloppy on offense against Wisconsin, their defense was sensational holding Wisconsin, a power running team, to 12 total yards on the ground. November 18 looms larger and larger.

Quick Shot Heisman Contenders:

*Mario Manningham: (aka 'The New Math') 137 yards on 4 catches for 3 touchdowns against Notre Dame, 113 yards on 7 catches for 2 touchdowns against Wisconsin. He's official.

*Troy Smith - despite two picks, the lasting memory of what was in actuality a pretty ugly, Tressel-ball type win, was Smith's dancing pants 50 yard touchdown bomb after eluding the entire Penn State D on a crazy, broken play.

*Brady Quinn? - I can't tell what to make of this guy. One weekend he sucks like a prom date, the next he's tossing off 5 touchdowns in an amazing come from behind win in the rain. He'll probably continue to put up big numbers against the soft, creamy center of the remaining Notre Dame schedule before they lose their season finale at USC. Figuring to be a two-loss team, Notre Dame will get a BCS Bowl in a season hauntingly familiar to last year. Ultimately it won't be enough to get Quinn a bronze trophy.

Quick Shots:

*Boise State won in an absolute shoot-out against Hawai'i with 75 points and almost 1,000 yards of total offense between the two teams. And this in the year Boise State's defense was supposed to pave the way.

*Clemson smoked North Carolina 52-7 and looked sharp as shit coming off a big win over FSU last weekend. BC lost to a bad NC State team, confirming my suspicion that they've been living on borrowed time, and so I'm sticking with the Tigers in the ACC. Look out for the big match up with Virginia Tech on October 26.

*Poor Dan Hawkins and the Colorado Buffalos. After some truly bad losses, the big win which they could almost taste against Georgia would have been the sweetest kind of redemption. Still a good a performance and something to build on going forward. I think they finally get a win next weekend against Missouri as the Hawk starts to turn things around in Boulder.

Anyone who's made it this deep in the post deserves the infinite reward behind link #4. Thanks for reading.

Chat Transcript: I Can't Stand the Rain

switters: i love football season

nastyb: yeah
me too
Sent at 10:19 AM on Friday

nastyb: what's got you so excited?

switters: i just love watching troy smith play
mostly
Sent at 10:25 AM on Friday

switters: it's supposed to be really rainy in columbus on saturday
Sent at 10:28 AM on Friday

nastyb: yuh oh
heavy rain's kind of an equalizer
remember the fsu louisville game from a few years back?
Sent at 10:31 AM on Friday

switters: hmm
not sure
expand
Sent at 10:35 AM on Friday

nastyb: louisville beat one of those really good offensive fsu teams
because it was raining cats and dogs
and that really slowed down the fsu offense
Sent at 10:37 AM on Friday

switters: yeah
too bad we have such a great running back

nastyb: it always makes things interesting
Sent at 10:40 AM on Friday

switters: psyched
big ten season rules
Sent at 10:43 AM on Friday

switters: BJ (Cincinnati): With the forecast calling for rain in Columbus this weekend, do you see this helping Penn St. slow down OSU's offense?

SportsNation Bruce Feldman: maybe a little, but the beauty of this OSU offense is that it has the power combination too so I don't see that changing the winner in my mind: OSU by at least 2 TDs

nastyb: word

Whoa, Oklahoma!

Take it easy David Boren.

We’ve been over this before, bad calls are for better or worse a part of the game. Since any team will be both the beneficiary and the victim of bad calls at some point it behooves us all, coaches, players and fans, to bite our tongues and accept the fact that sometimes life gives you lemons. You take your lumps and move on.

The stoic reaction to life’s random, mean or cruel bullshit has been a traditional American value. And nowhere in America was that value more ingrained, apparently, than the heartland of which Oklahoma is a part.

So why, in a country where innocent people are incarcerated and or sentenced to death with alarming frequency, is the President of the University of Oklahoma, David Boren, raising such hell about a bad call in a football game? Shouldn’t he have more important things to do like run a school of 30,000 students?

Before any Sooners fans get bent out of sorts, let me say that I agree that the call was total crap. That it affected the outcome of the game is regrettable. But bad calls are unavoidable, and the Pac-10 has eaten crow on this. They have apologized as a conference and suspended the guilty referees and review officials.

What else can you expect them to do?

President Boren has called for the game to be stricken from the records, erased as history and has brought this sly-political request to the Commissioner of the Big 12 Conference. Furthermore, the Big 12 is threatening to cancel next year’s Oklahoma @ Washington game if the Pac 10 does not capitulate to Oklahoma demands that the Pac 10 change its rule requiring league officials to be used at its home stadiums. I really hope this doesn't happen. It sets a bad precedent.

I've seen other deserving teams lose by bad calls. It always sucks. But most, in the wake of such a loss have had the grace and the sense to realize that life, even football, isn't fair. Is that a reason to give up? Or throw a tantrum until you get your way?

Sadly Boren and Stoops and some of Sooner Nation have decided to play the part of the sore loser and cry foul like none before. I hope that the college football community, starting with the Big 12 and Pac 10, can ignore their cries (a little tough love, if you will) and move on because to entertain their whining would be bad for the Sooners and bad for college football.

Week 3: I Hate To Say I Told You So...

I'll echo Switters sentiments on Michigan and say that Saturday was indeed an affirmative experience. As far as takeaway for the future, methinks The Game in Columbus may be the biggest since 1997 with both teams having realistic National Championship aspirations. I don't want to jinx it just yet, so of course we'll have to wait and see. In the Big 10 any team can be problematic and we don't know how good Wisconsin, Iowa or Sparty really are. But it's going to be a good motherfucking season.

Word.

Now, I won't fight ESPN's inclination to branding each college football weekend, especially since "Separation Saturday" completely lived up to the hype and made the National Championship picture a bit more clear. With history being our guide, we can safely scratch Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Tennessee and LSU from the title hunt. Additionally, we've got good bets as to the SEC's future. Auburn looks like the team to beat in the West, while Florida appears to be the beast in the East. Fortunately for fans, the SEC divisional champs will have to play each other before one (or both) can emerge into the BCS.

Taking a cue from this Separation Saturday's action, CFN updated its BCS bowl projections as follows:

BCS GAMES

Rose Bowl
Pasadena, CA
Bowl Projection: Michigan vs. Boise State

Fiesta Bowl
Glendale, AZ
Bowl Projection: Texas vs. Notre Dame

Orange Bowl
Miami, FL
Bowl Projection: Clemson vs. Florida

Sugar Bowl
New Orleans, LA
Bowl Projection: Auburn vs. Louisville

BCS Championship Game
Glendale, AZ
Bowl Projection: USC vs. Ohio State

And, jigga what? Boise State vs. Michigan in the Rose Bowl? Notre Dame survives to earn a BCS berth? Clemson wins the ACC?

Insane? Wacky? Interesting no doubt; and at times difficult to understand, seeing as CFN spearheaded the Notre Dame is overrated train of thought, but CFN lays it out for college football to play it out.

Quick Shots
*It's fuzzy now, though I think we said something to the contrary earlier, but so far I'm liking the Big East way more than the ACC, which appears to be anyone's conference as a clusterfuck of mediocrity. I'm picking Clemson to eek it out over Virgina Tech now that FSU and Miami are sunk. So here, yes, I agree with CFN. Clemson goes BCS Bowling.

*Louisville's lost two stars in Michael Bush and Brian Brohm. That really sucks for a Cardinals team that was fixing to do some damage this year. However, they've continued to roll despite the loss of both stars. Let's see if they can continue to surge closing in on their showdown with West Virginia. (If CFN's BCS Bowl projections are to be trusted, they believe in Louisville as much as anyone.)

*Lucky Ducks - Oregon pulled off a fast one on Saturday night, drawing on a combination of luck, skill, nifty uniforms and (wink wink) "homefield advantage" to down Adrian Peterson (*more on him later), or the 2006 Oklahoma Sooners, 34-33 on a last minute field goal block. BUT, that should never have happened. Oregon, you got away with one and you know it. We all saw it. Your guy touched the onsides kick first. Belloti, you've got a good team, but you're officially living on borrowed time. (And, this just in, maybe the world is catching on.)

*Peterson's rushing for crazy yards so far (515 yards on 90 carries), but Oklahoma has been reduced to a one-trick pony without Bomar and thus despite Peterson's Herculean efforts, without a decent supporting cast he's an outsider in the Heisman race.

*Boise State, apparently hungover after last week's romp over Oregon State, grinds out the tough road win over Wyoming 17-10. Even so, they break into the AP Poll at #25. Even good teams have to win ugly at times. But the Broncos better not make a habit out of it if they plan to live up to CFN's BCS projections and beat out TCU for the mid-major BCS slot in the Rose Bowl against Michigan??

Crazy times we live in these.

Bravo, Wolverines

Man. I thought I knew a lot about college football until this weekend. I can win 4-team parlays by betting on SWC and MAC teams, but apparently I have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to my arch-rival.

This game was over before it started, and Michigan dominated in every single aspect of the game. I was rooting for the Wolvernies for the sake of my beloved Big Ten, but I was hoping that there would at least be a facet of competition to the game so that I could be entertained (which I'm sure my counterpart did not experience). But there was nothing, it was done, and here's how the BCS is shaping up:

Brady Quinn = Done
Notre Dame = Done
Charlie Weis = NOT a genius

But now it's time to focus on real football, the Big Ten season. This weekend will be a huge test for all the Big Ten teams, because it's an entirely different game when you're playing in the Big Ten.

I don't want to rain on Michigan's parade, but I think Michigan still has a lot to prove. A friendly Michigan fan told me yesterday that Michigan's win over Notre Dame is far more impressive than Ohio State's win over Texas. We won't know about any of this until the end of the season.

Early lines for Saturday:

Penn State @ Ohio State (-17)
Wisconsin @ Michigan (-14)

Let's do this.

Why Brady Quinn Will Not Win The Heisman

It was only out of deference to my recently quiet colleague Switters that I let that last post lead the blog as long as I did. Because I'm polite and because I respect Switters, I tolerated the cloying look on Quinn's face, his insouciant grin taunting me from the homepage of my own blog, even though he irritates me so much it's making my scalp itch.

Now, meet the Michigan defensive line, a quartet of pipe-hitting brothers without a douche bag among them. On Saturday, led by 6'2" 268 lb. ball of man rage, LaMarr Woodley, they will expose Brady Quinn for the mincing gaylord that he is while defeating Notre Dame. (Take Michigan at +7 if you can find that line.)

Sure, Quinn looked impressive last weekend picking apart a Penn State defense that dropped 7 guys into coverage and telegraphed their occassional linebacker blitz. It's clear now that Brady Quinn can make a good pass when he's got time for tea in the pocket before going through his progression.

So by the other side of the sword it's also clear that the way to beat Notre Dame is put the squeeze on Quinn and pressure the shit out of him. Once's he got the happy feet and is scampering scared under pressure his effectiveness as a quarterback is diminished. Smardizjizdijsa doesn't score anymore balleterrific touchdowns. Michigan wins the game.

And Michigan can apply pressure with a defensive line that is drawing early and apt shock and awe as a force of nature. Woodley already has 4 sacks and 5 TFLs on the season and his supporting cast are, just like him: big, fast and angry and backing it up with 3 sacks and an additional 6 TFLs of their own (most of that in Biggs). But just look at the arms on Woodley and you will know the fear that Brady Quinn will feel come Saturday.

This defensive line is the reason Brady Quinn will not win the Heisman (or at lest go undefeated long enough to meet the Buckeyes in Switter's concocted fantasy BCS Championship matchup). Quinn will be exposed by this defensive line, who will draft the blueprint by which other teams with strong D lines will similarly solve the mighty Irish offense.

I'm prepared to eat crow on this pronouncement should the Irish win out over this defense because that will mean the Irish are that good and worthy of the hype. But I do not believe that will happen since Michigan is due for a big win.

Why Brady Quinn Will Win The Heisman

This is probably the last place you'd expect to see a prediction that Brady Quinn will win The Heisman Trophy for 2006.

With that photo, Quinn is lucky that "douchebaggery" is not a category that would take votes away in the Heisman, because he would have huge points in this category. But really, it comes down to the coaching style.

With no disrespect to my Michigan cohort, I'm working under the assumption that both Notre Dame and Ohio State will be undefeated and playing for the national championship on January 8. Obviously if Ohio State or Notre Dame loses, this scenario completely changes. But for the sake of argument let's say that they both are undefeated.

So as of the end of November, the race is between the mobile, efficient, deadly Troy Smith and the versatile, long throwing, douchey Brady Quinn.

ESPN.com projections say that Brady Quinn will pass for 3198 yards in 2006, and Troy Smith will throw for 3396 yards. But those numbers alone won't be enough to put Troy ahead. And like I said, it's all about coaching.

Charlie Weis does not let up on his opponents. He's willing to score touchdowns until the end of the 4th quarter, and even when Notre Dame is ahead by 3 touchdowns, Quinn will continue to score and pad his statistics.

Jim Tressel does not operate that way. As we saw in Week One against Northern Illinois, once the Buckeyes were up 28-0, Tressel put his foot on the brakes. And although Smith could be brilliant in 12 games leading to the bowl season, the nature of Ohio State and Jim Tressel's game plans does not lend well to Troy Smith coming up with dazzling plays and overwhelming heroics.

Tressel's theory of gaining a lead in the air and controlling the rest of the game (and the clock) on the ground will work well for us all season. He's a great coach with a great sense for what is needed to win, although not overwhelmingly.

There's also the small issue of the blossoming, almost completely mature love between Notre Dame and the media. Every Notre Dame game is nationally televised, they have the biggest fan base in the nation, and they have a charismatic coach who's not afraid to take chances on gutsy plays when it matters most. Weis is willing to let the spotlight continue on his quarterback, even when the game is in hand.

While looking ahead to ND vs. OSU on January 8, this is just another reason why the Heisman should not be awarded until after the bowl season.

Chat Transcript: Planning the Perfect Week(end) 3

switters: wow
you see the mack brown article today?

nastyb: no i didn't catch it

switters: oh jesus

here's the headline
Ticked off: Brown faults clock rule in loss to OSU

nastyb: that's some good spin

switters: so ridiculous

nastyb: creative at least
but ducking the issue

switters: apparently they would have scored 3 touchdowns in 5 minutes with the old rules
what with their potent offense

switters: so
espn.com has a poll
for the beginning of the NFL season
it says "are you ready for some football?"
i answered "no"
only 13% of us are not ready for some football

nastyb: just bucking the trend for the heck of it?

switters: i've savored this time without the NFL
it's been nice

switters: so
let's make sure we make some plans for saturday
are we watching ND/UM ?
usc/nebraska could be interesting
in theory
Sent at 9:24 AM on Tuesday

nastyb: yes
plans
i was thinking we watch the first two rounds of games
what do you think about an afternoon round of golf?
like 9 holes or something...

switters: hmmm, that's a good plan
well watching osu at 9am
and then um/nd at 12:30
then golf?

nastyb: yeah
then dinner and evening games
like florida/tennessee

switters: and usc/nebraska

nastyb: that's it
a pretty full day

switters: well i'll have to watch buckeyes at home
because it's only on gameplan
unless i go to a bar at 8:30 am

nastyb: that's pretty agro

switters: yeah i can't do that

nastyb: me neither
i can't commit to 18 and drinking all day with college football

switters: right

nastyb: we can try 9 this weekend and if we feel great go to 18 some other time
Sent at 9:40 AM on Tuesday

nastyb: is gameplan showing the boise state/wyoming game?

switters: i'm sure
when is it?

nastyb: 12:30 on sat.

switters: i'm sure
i'm sure it is

nastyb: could be a good jump game during michigan/nd
how good do you think nd is?

switters: i mean
Sent at 9:46 AM on Tuesday

switters: it's tough to tell
it looks like PSU is bad
lloyd has had a buttoned-up offense
maybe he's waiting to unleash the fury
Sent at 9:51 AM on Tuesday

Week 2: Conclusions

Was anyone else surprised at how completely Ohio State dominated Texas in Austin? Unless you're a Buckeye fan, the game did not live up to the hype since Texas wasn't making it much of a contest. Methinks Colt McCoy's christening as "The Real" was a bit premature. He looked like a baby on Saturday night and in the end wasn't man enough to match Troy Smith who decided he wanted the game and took it like a goddamned barbarian as McCoy watched helplessly from those doe eyes of his.

Still got to hand it to Ohio State then for a solid, solid win.

I'm still not convinced of Notre Dame. I think we can assign most of this Saturday's victory to Penn State's offense not giving their a defense a chance to catch it's breath. Critical mistakes at critical times, killed a number of drives and before long the Penn State defense was tired. So it's hard to know, still, how good the Irish are. Fans will see all the affirmation they need in this victory, but I've still got my doubts.

Other Stuff

*ESPN News ran some programming that was new to me at least, called College Football Overdrive and which I found to be an excellent jump channel to supplement whatever happens to be your game of interest.

On CFO, which ran saturday from 3pm-8pm EST (and will do so again this Saturday) the ESPN programmers interrupted the normally panaceaic ESPN News coverage to jump exclusively between other relevant college football games, many of which may not be showing regionally (or only on Gameplan). Using this as my jump channel on Saturday, I was able to focus on my contests and let CFO bring me up to speed on the crucial plays in other compelling games such as Akron/NC State, Iowa/Syracuse and BC/Clemson.

I think this is an excellent application of the otherwise informative, if monotonous, ESPN News outlet, and highly recommend it as a jump channel for anyone else hoping to keep up to speed this coming Saturday.

*1 out of 3 ain't bad for the WAC, especially since that 1 was Boise State's domination of Oregon State and a good portent for a Bronco team that won't be satisfied with anything less than BCS. Fresno State lost close to a good Oregon team, while Nevada got whooped. San Jose State came out of nowhere to upset Stanford, so will call it a wash for the WAC-Pac 10 intersectionals.

*Dan Hawkins lost his second game as CU head coach managing again to score just 10 points against Colorado State who scored 13 and beat them. Still I can't imagine its all his fault when the best guy on the team is the kicker (who nailed one from like 60 yards out only to have it called back as CSU called a dubious timeout right at the snap). It's hard to imagine Hawkins can do much with the Neuheisel/Barnett waste and only half his own recruiting class of freshmen. But so far more disappointing than anyone would have anticipated.

*The only thing we know about Michigan so far is that they're much better on defense and they appear to be able to run the ball with Hart et al. But Henne, the passing game and the play calling have remained enigmatic. The word on the street is that this is all smoke and mirrors bland playcalling (pretty much off tackles with a 10-15% margin for play action passing) and that the real offense, the 'we've revamped everything after years of predictablity' offense, will be unleashed before a shocked world this saturday at Notre Dame.

*Trent Green was my Fantasy Football QB until he got murdered on the field today. At 36 I had a feeling he could be broken at any moment, but I took my chances and rolled the dice. Still it sucks to see prophesy come to fruition like that. Concern for my Fantasy Football team aside, I hope Trent's okay.

Boise Statement

Ian Johnson ripped the Oregon State defense last night to the tune of 240 yards on the ground and 5 touchdowns.

As my mother, who was watching the game live at Bronco Stadium, texted me "BSU [showed] the Beavers which way the river flows."

It was a phenomenal game for the Broncos, the coming out of their feature back, and threw down the gauntlet to everyone remaining on the BSU schedule, including Utah, Nevada and Fresno State.

It appears now that the Broncos have a very real shot of going undefeated if they can keep up this level of play. So Boise State is the master of its own destiny in the quest to become the second-ever Mid Major to earn a BCS Bowl berth.

According to game callers Chris Fowler and Kirk "Homo" Herbstreit they'll likely vie with TCU for the honorary big-bowl invite tossed out to the Mid Major of the year.

We'll see. Go Broncos!

Big Week For The WAC

A big, non-conference week for the WAC starts tonight with Boise State taking on Oregon State at home on ESPN at 7:30 PM EST.

On Saturday, Fresno State draws Oregon at home, and Nevada will travel to Tempe to play a mortal Arizona State after a shaky victory at Norther Arizona (Go Lumberbacks!).

Essentially, these three games will prove or disprove my earlier thesis that the WAC is the most relevant Mid Major conference. All three games are eminently winnable for the WAC and will demonstrate that the WAC can contend with middle to upper tier Pac-10 schools.

A Stupid Post With Football YTMND's

Remember this guy? So does YTMND. If you love their stylish combination of unforgettable media and College Football then you'll love the following classic lifted from last year's Texas Tech/Navy showdown:

http://collegefootball.ytmnd.com/

I also found this on YTMND's popular list and if you can forgive the Fox NFL Sunday music, it's pretty good until it gets strange and political and a little over my head toward the end.

http://ytmndfootballseason.ytmnd.com/

Enjoy!

Week 1: What We've Learned

First, Ohio State is good at offense, scoring 21 in the first quarter alone before calling off the hounds to cruise to a comfy 35-12 victory over Northern Illinois. We still have questions about the defense after Garret Wolfe ran his own punt, pass and kick contest for 285 all-purpose yards (171 on the ground and 114 through the air) and NIU's lone touchdown. Wolfe's one man scamper-a-thon, while not enough to beat the Buckeyes this weekend, may come back to haunt them next weekend by giving Texas a blueprint to exploit their D.

Which leads us to Texas, whom we also learned can score points. They looked very good breaking in new QB Colt McCoy against North Texas. I'm already salivating over what figures to be an epic shootout this weekend, but I'll leave most of the hype and coverage to Switters who will be in attendance like a Scarlet and Grey life raft in a sea of Burnt Orange.

We also saw the early expose of Notre Dame as a bunch of charlatans with a fat coach living on borrowed time in the Top Ten. Here's a team whose offense was touted as the best in the land barely posting a two-touchdown performance to eek out the win at unranked (maybe undeservedly so) Georgia Tech. With the Big Ten section of Notre Dame's schedule looming (Penn State, Michigan and Michigan State) I think we'll see them struggle.


Miami and Florida State both suck. What looked like (and may actually be) good defense was actually terrible, terrible offense by both teams. Pat Forde said that Miami lacked a plan and seemed less organized than a Kindergarten fire drill on offense. I would tend to agree and so I think we're looking at an ACC up for grabs with Clemson, Georgia Tech and maybe even BC looming large since neither of these conference powers looks plugged in.

Now, was it Cal that sucked or Tennessee that rocked? One Cal Bear that made the journey to Knoxville said he'd never seen a Tedford team so flat. They just didn't show up. And Rocky Top's a tough place to play. But this was the most deflating loss for the Pac 10 in quite some time and seems to position USC for its perennial conference domination (after blasting Arkansas 50-14 in, essentially, two quarters of football).

Except for one thing, Oregon. They looked sharp in their new unis tearing up Stanford 48-10. We'll find out what they're really made of against Fresno State and Oklahoma in the next two weeks, but I'm picking them in both games now especially since we've seen that Brett Bomar's small-time criminality has left Oklahoma a one-trick pony after their scarce victory over UAB.

Quick Shots:
*Bad debut for Dan Hawkins. The former point-scoring madman at Boise State debuted in Colorado by putting up just 10 points in a home loss to I-AA Montana State which earned the humble Big Sky conference school a cool $275K (Go Bobcats!). Not a pretty showing for the Buffs and hopefully for the Hawk not a portent for the future. For now we'll chalk it up to the lingering cancer of Rick Neuheisel's tenure and Gary Barnett's subsequent mismanagement.

*In other former Boise State coach news, Houston Nutt better be worried about his after laying another rotten egg in Arkansas. How much time does he get? Can Mitch Mustain save Nutt's butt for the rest of the season?

Take Your Pick

Sure as the sun rose on the morning of August 31, the first day of College Football, an auspicious email appeared in my Inbox this morning from a familiar sender from whom I haven't heard since the Super Bowl.

It was my old friend SportsBetting.com reminding me with assured language to 'Bet College Football.' Well, this really brightened my day. Not only was it a blissful reminder that this is indeed the first day in many wherein a live game of competitive American football will be played, but also a reinforcement of my personal conviction that Gambling For Money is the cherry on top when it comes to College Football fandom.

There's no uninteresting angle in today's age where the parlay is king and everything from the mundane (cointoss) to the sublime (sack total) is up for wagered debate.

In their email Sportsbetting presents a pretty straightforward approach, encouraging long shot betting on the eventual National Champion with these delectable odds:

ODDS TO WIN BCS CHAMPIONSHIP
Notre Dame 4-1
Ohio St 7-1
USC 8-1
West Virginia 8-1
Texas 10-1
Auburn 12-1
Florida 15-1
California 15-1
Oklahoma 15-1
Louisville 18-1
Iowa 20-1
Michigan 20-1
Florida St 20-1
Miami FL 25-1
LSU 25-1
Penn St 40-1
Virginia Tech 40-1
Nebraska 50-1
Arizona St 50-1
Georgia 60-1
Tennessee 60-1
Oregon 70-1
Clemson 70-1

And I am tempted to put at least a few bucks on everyone with 20-1 and higher. Could pay out and will largely expand my list of to-root-for teams throughout the season.

As far as tonight, I'm taking both Mississippi State and (+7.5) and Central Michigan (+12.5) at home.

* You will have noticed that I linked to Wikipedia several times in this post. I love Wikipedia. And its entries on American Football and Gambing are no exceptions to the gold standard of user-developed content that they host. However, will someone please tell me why nobody has written an article yet on the Gambling sub-topics 'Con Games (in bars)' listed as follows:

* Put and Take
* The Smack
* The Drunken Mitt

The names are so intriguing. Someone with some experience plese write these, the seedy underbelly of betting and money games demands it!

The Onion Hacks Into SI.com

The only explanation for this story is that someone from The Onion hacked into SI's site and posted this article.

Not to mention that Rutgers' only Heisman winner was in 1958 (Bill Austin), back when running backs were called "tailbacks," but the talent is so overwhelming for the Heisman as it is that it is unlikely that this guy will even be looked at unless he has an unbelieveable season.

Leonard will need to rush for 2,000 yards and score 25 TDs to even be in the race from Rutgers.

This same fake article from SI.com stated:

Leonard humble as Rutgers mounts Heisman hype

I sure as hell hope so, unless he is an illegitimate child of Brady Quinn's or a long-lost lover of Adrian Peterson's. Not to mention his illegal arms trading with Troy Smith. I think that's the only way he's going to get into Heisman talk.

But seriously, Leonard rushed for 740 yards and 11 TDs last season. That was 80th in the country, right behind Penn State QUARTERBACK Michael Robinson.

But this is where it gets good: first-string tailback Raymell Rice (who rushed for a respectable 1100 yards -- 33rd in the country) is still there and will be playing this year. So where does Leonard's Heisman hype come from?

According to this fake article:

"Among active NCAA players entering this season, Leonard is first in touchdowns (40) and career rushing attempts (585), fourth in receptions (169), sixth in rushing touchdowns (27) and eighth in rushing yards (2,352). With 242 points, he is 19 points shy of Rutgers' career-scoring record."

Sounds like a fairytale season might be at hand for the Scarlet Knights, who open this season at UNC on Saturday. And while I'll have to include Rutgers (+5.5) on my parlay card for this Saturday, I must say this to The Onion: Another job well done, my hilarious friends.

Adios CFN!

I know I've ragged on CFN for their watery, recycled content before. But I always kind of loved it for what it was steady, free content. And sort of like the local slut, CFN kept me floating through the offseason when the major sports web sites were pulling catholic high school maneuvers and not putting out.

That CFN gave to me in my time of need was not overlooked, and I always felt enough of an allegiance to check in every now and then (ok, daily) for a quick nut.

But when I dropped by for my fix this morning, I found to my horror that the familiar URL: www.collegefootballnews.com, redirects to a spiffy new web page with an all-too-familiar look that you and every College Football fan has seen disgrace the coverage of their own beloved teams.

Behold http://cfb.scout.com/

That's right, old reliable is gone. And we've got suckfest Scout.com (fungible with Rivals.com for overall crappiness) taking the reigns.

This was probably CFN's exit-strategy, get big enough to get bought out, and it's the way of the Internet, but it's always a fresh and shocking shame when decent free content (and just when CFN was gaining legitimacy) gets purchased and perverted by inferior providers who, like crack dealers, give a free taste than charge outrageous amounts once you need the fix.

The new CFN/Scout site is still free (for the time being), but mostly purveying the last summer's share of content that CFN pumped out. So nothing new in terms of added value, and watch out before too long I guarantee it will become just another filter pushing people into the Scout subscription service. They've already squeezed every last drop of profit out of covering recruiting and have dug their grubbing, wormy fingers into the larger college football coverage landscape.

So goodbye CFN, it was fun while it lasted.

Scout, nice try, but you'll never get a penny out of me fuckers!

Sunday Special: The Blue Field

As a native Boisean I'm always looking for ways to promote the up and coming Boise State Broncos. In that effort I'm not too proud to piggy-back on the recent work of The Idaho Statesman, who has just posted this documentary both celebrating Boise State's smurf-turf blue AstroPlay field, now in its 20th year, and debunking some of the most pervasive myth's about the field (such as the idea that bird's crash land on the field after mistaking it for a rectangular pond).

7 Days 'Til College Football

The NCAA Division I Football season officially begins one week from today! Sure, August 31 is a Thursday, but like the scummy, malarial pond at the oasis after crawling through thousands of miles of barren Saharan sands, I won't split hairs when it comes to finally quenching the unquenchable thirst. I will drink, and drink deeply.

This year, it's the Middle-American Conference filling my cup in style and taking on all comers in a MAC vs. the World extravaganza that pits more than half the conference against representatives of the ACC, Big Ten and Big 12.

Behold:

Boston College at Central Michigan
Eastern Michigan at Ball State
Temple at Buffalo
Minnesota at Kent State
Northwestern at Miami (of Ohio)
Toledo at Iowa State

Presumably the MAC sold out en masse (worse than ever the WAC does) to get some of that precious off-peak television coverage that has been the clever domain of Mid-Major teams capitulating to Disney to grab some national attention in recent years. So too bad the only nationally syndicated of the above will be BC at CMU, airing on ESPN2.

Admittedly, Northwestern at Miami (of Ohio), is a more interesting matchup than the BC/CMU game and will be airing on ESPNU. But the fact is still that you'll have to pay premium prices for your beer to watch this on TV. And probably there will be some regional broadcasts, but outside of small-market Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan, we're talking a minimum of airtime so in the end, dang, talk about a backfire for the MAC.

Otherwise that day we've got a host of these exciting 'I didn't know they were D-I' matchups:

Rhode Island at Connecticut
Stephen F. Austin at Tulsa
UTEP at San Diego State
FIU at MTSU (that's Florida International at Middle-Tennessee State University, thank you)

The Pac-10 will be picking on the I-AA's Big Sky Conference:

Northern Arizona at Arizona State
Eastern Washington at Oregon State

And finally, the lone BCS Matchup of the entire day, the worst SEC team outside of Nashville, Tennessee plays Stever Spurrier's ego:

South Carolina at Mississippi State

Predictably, this is ESPN's choice for the evening's broadcast.

But I'm not complaining. I'll be grinning like this guy with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other, because in one week from now it's College Football.

Is CFN Gaining Legitimacy?

Given, it's the Free Press, but this is perhaps the first time I've seen any newspaper, let alone a major market daily give any cred to College Football News.

Here is the Freep, where real journalists probably work, piggy-backing on the hard work of the CFN team and touting this analysis as number crunching of some estimable importance. It must be so good in fact that it obviated the need for the Freep to do any calculation of its own, because who could aspire to better? (The Wall Street Journal maybe?)

All that aside, is this a mark of credibility for CFN? Yes. They are doing some things right. Their calculation seems rationally and painstakingly thought out. I buy their justification. But is it newsworthy for more than the OCD college football fans that patrol CFN? And does one of those fans also cover the Wolverines for the Freep?

All credit due to CFN, I think this is more likely just a lazy effort to provide (old) morale-boosting content for Michigan fans whose preseason ranking outside of the top 10 in either poll is the first since 1997.

It's About Time

Last September, when I'd nestled into the butt-print I'd spent the previous season imprinting in my friend's couch and popped open the familiar Foster's Oil Can at 9:30 am EST to watch two and half hours of College Gameday, I knew the season was upon us.

Through the noon and afternoon waves of Big Ten, ACC and Big East games I cruised like a champion, only lamenting the preponderance of diamond ring and life insurance commericals on tv.

But the football was good. Some dozen beers and two pizzas later, the SEC games were just rounding the halftime mark with at least 90 minutes to go, and the Pac 10 was rising in the middle of the first quarter for the real diehards trying to go coast to coast through the full slate of televised games.

But I was dragging ass hard. It was a Saturday night in my mid-twenties, my team had won and I was beat. What was the matter?

Are college football games too long?

Yes, said the NCAA recently with their new rules tweaks to speed up the pace of play.

Starting this season, on a first down the clock starts "at the ready," when the official thinks the teams are all set to play, and not at the snap.

On kickoffs, the clock will now start when the kicker strikes the ball.

This is supposed to be a way to trim the length of games, which had grown in recent years to 3 hours 20 minutes, by eliminating 11-14 plays per game.

How's that for missing the point entirely? It's not that were sick of seeing more *football plays, it's that its taking longer to see it. Thanks to TV and diamond commercials.

So instead of eliminating 11-14 plays per game, which if you think about it ensures there's now more time for commercials, let's try eliminating 11-14 commercials per game and all of the tv timeouts. What do you bet that would make more of an impact on keeping games under 30 minutes?

But I'm not living in the '50s either and I understand that advertising dollars have to some degree facilitated the time of plenty in today's college football world. I'm just saying there's another way it can be done wherein I don't have to deal with 30 seconds of guilt induced by a financial planning commerical after seven minutes of football.

I like the way the World Cup does things, with a subtle advertiserment visible at all times during the continous flow of play. Why pray tell can't college football (and even the NFL) take a cue from the only sport that rivals these two in terms of sheer fandom and deliver the goods in an uncompromised way?

Consider the case of Zidane's headbutt in the world cup final. This act of savagery was blazed into the minds of millions at the time of broadcast and with a convenient little corporate logo in the corner, unofficially sponsored by Coke (at least on Univision). Consider that now in the age of viral videos on the internet, how many other people have and will continue to view this clip online and you're talking billions of impressions and I doubt any of Coke's regular TV spots could penetrate so deep.

So take that to the bank, college football sponsors and the NCAA, and give us what we want: not less plays, just fewer advertisements.

The Truth Behind the Scuttlebutt

The demise of Rhett Bomar is old news already, and I've got nothing juicy to contribute to the general finger wagging that's going on. But behind the headlines, and paternal commentary is an interesting testament to the mode of delivery that first scooped this story and made it old news in hurry - the Internet college football community.

Stewart Mandel is reporting on his *blog* that the word on Rhett Bomar's gross overcompensation for selling Kia's was reported way back in January on the Internet by a concerned fan just like you and me.

After posting his concerns on TexAgs.com, "aggiegrant06" was branded a heretic for espousing such blasphemous (and potentially NCAA regulation violatous) 'scuttlebutt.'

However, here on the eve of the 2006 season, with the Sooners a pre-season favorite for both the Big 12 and National titles (at least before the breaking of Kia Gate), "aggiegrant06" has been vindicated as Rhett's folly has turned out to be the Gospel truth and produced not only his ouster from Norman but potential problems for the Sooners in terms of this season's chances and NCAA investigations, sanctions if this whole thing turns out to be as stinky as it whiffs right now.

But first, witness the waxing power of the Internet! Score one for the legitimacy of messages boards and blogs!

There is truth emerging in the clamor of the internet and traditional media is starting to pay attention. With the ease of access and flow of information, the Internet gives us eyes and ears everywhere and even formerly impregnable fortresses of media coverage and message control, like Schembechler Hall at Michigan, are powerless to stop it.

Michigan fans have for years been frustrated by the Draconian control of information particularly as it pertained to unpleasant topics like injuries, infractions, punishment, firings, etc. But with the emergence of chatboards and blogs, the chinks in the armor are beginning to be exploited.

Admittedly, not all of the information is accurate (reports of an offseason injury to Chris Perry before the 2003 season) but much of it has been good (early reports of the firings of hated Michigan coordinators Tim Malone and Jim Hermann).

Which leads you to wonder how much truth there is to current reports on UMGoBlue that Antonio Bass was injured playing basketball (rather than the messaged offseason football conditioning, though I supposed you could spin some hoops that way).

This is just one examples of the truth refusing to be contained and it pleases me to no end that similar exchange is going on message boards and blogs representing every team everywhere. There has never been a better day to be a fan of College Football.

The Thrilling Future

A premonition I had today.

November 18, 2006
Columbus, Ohio



Brent Musberger:

"It's a beautiful day here in Columbus, mid 50s, sunny, and the Michigan Wolverines are looking for their first undefeated season since 1997. The Ohio State Buckeyes are the only thing standing in their way, but with Ohio State being the only other undefeated team in the country, today's game is of monumental importance. This is not only about the 100 Yard War and backyard bragging rights. In the next 4 quarters, we'll see what these two squads are made of.

Michigan has come from behind this season to pull off some great upsets and has fought their way to the top of the rankings. Ohio State started off looking great in Austin against Texas and has never slowed down. Coming up next, we'll find out who wins the Big Ten championship and a trip to the BCS national championship game on January 8th in Glendale, Arizona."

Believe.

Preseason Coaches' Poll Chat Transcript

The USA Today Coaches' Poll came out today, and in reaction to tOSU's #1 preseason ranking, Switters and I had this nasty little exchange over IM:

Sent at 9:22 AM on Friday


switters:
guess who's #1
bad luck


Sent at 9:22 AM on Friday


nastyb:
you guys are screwed

switters:
if by screwed you mean undefeated


Sent at 9:27 AM on Friday


nastyb:
you're going to lose 2-3 games this season
i'm calling it now

switters:
go ahead and call it

nastyb:
i just did

switters:
you're going to be wrong old man

nastyb:
let's talk in december

switters:
will do
right after i book my flight to tempe for the national championship game
i'll be in good spirits


Sent at 9:33 AM on Friday


nastyb:
you'll be crying in your beer on new years

Why the WAC is Suddenly the Most Relevant Mid-Major Conference

With Louisville’s timely graduation to the BCS (if you can refer to the Big East as such in more than deference to its Miami/Virginia Tech glory days) and Utah’s return to earth a year separated from the Alex Smith era, there is a power vacuum in the Mid-Major ranks that is being filled by the Western Athletic Conference.

And while the most pub the WAC is currently getting has to do with having the least Mormon of all the Mormons in Utah (Read: Utah State Football Loves Pot!), the WAC, more so than Conference USA, the Mountain West or the MAC, is flying under the radar as the Mid Major of consequence this season. The obvious reasons are conference powers Boise State and Fresno State. Both programs have big expectations for the season.

Fresno State will assume its typical giant-killing posture with high profile non-conference matchups against Oregon, at Washington and a nasty roadtrip to Louisiana State.

BSU was picked to win their fifth straight WAC title and with a relatively easy schedule (Fresno State and Oregon State visit the blue turf) expectations are high for a 12-0 regular season and the second bid ever for a Mid-Major to play in the BCS. Coming off a national setback in an embarrassing season-opening performance at Georgia last season, the pressure on Boise State has never been greater to regain national relevance. And with Dan Hawkins departed for Colorado, these are fine times to be breaking in new coach Pete Petersen. But he’s an offensive madman, and the Broncos are deep on offense and defense, returning a shit load of starters, so the table is set.

Hometown pride is at an all-time high at Boise. The Idaho Statesman, the local Gannett rag, is pretty modest in all facets except for its new awesome Boise State Football page on its website. Seriously, this is pretty amazing as far as local coverage goes. Check out the Michigan coverage in the Detroit News if you don't agree.

Still, Boise and Fresno are old news, and the recurring criticism of the recent-era WAC has been that as a conference it’s a two-trick pony. (Similar arguments could be made for many conferences and, should West Virginia wash out, the Big East could be characterized as a rare, no-trick pony. And that, Dave Wannstadt, is one ugly hooker.)

But for the first time in recent memory, this may no longer be valid as the conference is developing some depth in emerging powers Nevada and Hawaii. Each of whom will also get to test their mettle against nationally prominent opponents like Alabama, Purdue and Arizona State. Hawaii's got this guy Colt Brennan, who figures to be more prolific than Timmy Chang, and they can usually manage to defeat a jetlagged BCS team out in the Islands. Just ask Alabama or Michigan State.

The bottom of the conference is like any other, but I’d take San Jose State over a Jay Cutler-less Vanderbilt any day because WAC teams can score some points. But from the top to the bottom, the WAC's also a Petri Dish for coaching talent: the Boise State strain dating back to Pokey (RIP) Allen, counts Houston Nutt, Dirk Koetter, and Dan Hawkins among its ranks; according to ESPN Radio Pat Hill is one of only eight mustachioed coaches in D-1A (and its a great mustache); Mike Price revived his career at UTEP when they were in the conference. And now Dennis Erickson at Idaho (coming off rebuilding Oregon State) will try to do the same.

The Big East: The Iron Sheik of College Football

In this image-heavy return to the college football blogging world, I want to address one of my perennial rants: the Big East sucks at college football. Just like the Iron Sheik, who was always considered to be a serious contender but just could not win the title, the Big East returns this year with huge backing from the media.

Maybe it's an obligation that the media feels toward the otherwise college-football deprived East Coast, or maybe it's the college basketball hangover. But something is leading people to believe that the Big East is a real college football conference.

Maybe it's my own inferiority complex with being from Ohio and being jealous that I'm not from the Northeast (or Cincinnati). But the rant will continue. ESPN.com's Bruce Feldman is just one of these evangelists, and states in his recent column: "Expect to hear a lot, especially from SEC folks, about how soft the schedules of WVU and Louisville are. But if they keep winning, commissioner Mike Tranghese will get the last laugh."

Well, I'm not an SEC fan and I will proudly say that I will be the one having the last laugh on this subject. In fact, I'm still laughing at the New York Times' prediction from last year that the national championship game would be a battle between Louisville and Michigan. If you don't think that's funny, you have no soul.

As a refresher, let's take a quick look at the teams in the Big East. There is no more Miami or Virginia Tech, so what are we left with?

Syracuse



Is Gerry McNamara playing for this team? If not, I don't want to hear about them anymore. The Syracuse/Notre Dame matchup from 2005 turned out to be a real nailbiter, with the Irish winning 34-10. Jim Brown was great, but I'll just close my eyes and remember that great Big East tourney run by McNamara.
Cincinnati

Is Kenyon Martin playing for this team? Cincy's big win in 2005 was against Syracuse. Great work. And who could forget the defensive battle against Western Carolina that ended 7-3 in the Bearcats' favor. By the way, Cincinnati kind of just sucks as a city.

Connecticut

With Rudy Gay, Marcus Williams, and Josh Boone, this team could really give the Bearcats a run for their money. Actually, I think this program is up and coming, and ever since I fell over drunk in the stands watching UConn beat up on Toledo in the Motor City Bowl, I really wish these guys the best.

South Florida

I spent some time in Tampa. It's real nice. Close to the Gulf, lots of palm trees and Yankees fans. After getting shut out 14-0 by NC State in the Meineke Car Care Bowl, we'll see South Florida debut against McNeese State (Joe Dumars' alma mater).

Pittsburgh

I love the heart you see from Carl Krauser out there on the field. Wait, wrong sport. I'm not sure if Wannstedt took the coaching job here out of self-loathing for how he fucked up the Bears, but if so, he's doing a great job. Was Dan Marino like 13 when he started playing for Pitt?

Rutgers

Is this in New Jersey?

Louisville

Louisville hung around the top 25 last year, and ended up losing to Virginia Tech 35-24 in the Gator Bowl. That's actually respectable. And having Elvis Dumervil didn't hurt their defense at all. So I'll allow Louisville to be included in the list of "real" football schools this year.

West Virginia

So this is where we come to an impasse. People think West Virginia has a legitimate shot at a national title. They took care of Georgia in the Sugar Bowl (which should quiet the SEC fans down a little), and they have a legitimate offense with Pat White and Steve Slaton, but let's take a look at the schedule. Because this is where it gets dicey: they play Marshall, Eastern Washington, East Carolina, Mississippi State, Syracuse, Connecticut, Louisville, Cincy, South Florida, Rutgers, and Pitt. By far their toughest matchup is with ACC powerhouse Maryland.

The only way this conference can redeem itself is if West Virginia goes undefeated and earns the chance to face the Buckeyes in the national championship.

I'm not going to say that Dan Marino, Donovan McNabb, or even Jim Brown come from an inconsequential conference, but let's face the facts: this is not a Tier 1 college football conference.

Unless the Iron Sheik of college football pulls off a huge upset, this season will just be another loss to Hulk Hogan.

CFN Comes Up With Something Original

I'm not one to credit College Football News with much in the way of originality, seeing as most of their 'content' seems cut and pasted and slighy rearranged from existing articles. All the same I have a daily addiction and don't mind throwing them a bone for having the balls to call it like everyone else is seeing it vis a vis Notre Dame. Overrated.

CFN Says:

18. Notre Dame Notre Dame Preview
Predicted Finish: 8-4 2005 Predicted Finish: 5-6 2005 Record: 9-3
Yes, this is the lowest you’ll see the Irish ranked anywhere (remember that these rankings are based on how good the teams are from top to bottom) and yes, the potential is there for a BCS Championship appearance if Charlie and the boys get out of September unbeaten. However, this is a tremendously flawed team with average corners, a limited pass rush from the front four, and no developed depth anywhere meaning the machine might quickly grind to a halt if injuries hit the skill positions. The secondary didn't get any faster in the off-season, although a few freshmen should provide some immediate help, the offensive line is average, and the overall athleticism and talent level, which was exposed in the Fiesta Bowl by Ohio State, is a year or two away from being up-to-snuff for a national title-caliber powerhouse. There's a whole boatload of talent on the way and this will be a USC-like program by 2008, but not all of the stars are in South Bend quite yet. Remember, outside of the win over an average Michigan squad, last year's team didn't beat anyone with a pulse.
Relative Strengths: quarterback, receiver Relative Weaknesses: linebacker, secondary

I like it CFN. Bravo!

In Defense of the Crusty Old Coach

SI's Stewart Mandel recently joined the Blogosphere with his attempt at a College Football Blog. It might be that Stewart's blog is hosted on a prominent sports pub web site owned by Ted Turner, or that you probably won't see any cussing on his posts, but Stewart's blog doesn't feel very, well, bloggy. At first read I found it a lot like the crypto journalism of Ivan Maisel's '3 Point Stance' over at ESPN. Not bloggy, but good for snippets that feel like raw feed from the seedy underbelly of college football. And the first post's not bad for typifying exactly what I mean. Not, coincidentally, it also has to do with my main man: Lloyd Carr - the very same crusty coach from the title. (Permalink to Lloyd Story and Heated Discussion Here.)

So what? Lloyd Carr got a blind guy fired from refereeing? What’s a coach supposed to do but stand up for the betterment of the game and the benefit his team? Removing a blind ref just makes sense for everyone involved, even though conjecture sprouting up across the blogosphere is that one-eyed Jim Filson's refereeing actually improved after losing his right eye in a cock fighting accident back in 2000.

But Lloyd takes the stance that every honorable man, like a wounded soldier, knows when his physical instability has rendered him useless to do his duty. And the honorable man should take that cue to fade gracefully from the limelight. Say if Lloyd's angina caused his balls to swell such that he couldn't stalk the sideline with the nimbless required to berate ball boys, assistant coaches and sideline reporters, he'd certainly retire. No questions asked. But when some stubborn, eye-patch wearing codger won’t face the facts and start collecting Social Security when he can only watch the offense or the defense, not both, nor any of the depth of field, sometimes you’ve got to show a man the door.

So Lloyd did what he had to do by expediting the exit of a man who’s time had come. In many ways it’s merficul; humane, like putting down a lame horse before he has a chance to crap out publicly.

Plus I just like the idea of an old man standing firm on his convictions and putting down the hammer to stamp out injustice. And will Lloyd's testimony that shoddy calls by Filson gave Notre Dame, Ohio State and the last three Michigan bowl game opponents a decisive edge over the last four seasons? Will that keep Filson off the field? (Unlikely, since it's true that in America you can't terminate an employee for having a disease or disability - even if it prevents them from doing their job. My uncle tried to fire a drunk once, and since alcoholism is apparently a disease that just sneaks up on some people, the termination was deemed wrongful and my uncle had to keep the guy on payroll and pay his disability insurance.)

Finally, here's how I imagine the conversation played out wherein Lloyd secured Filson's firing.

Lloyd: ‘Hey Jim (Delaney, Big 10 Commissioner), you letting One-Eyed Jim Filson call games this year?

Jim: I was thinking about it Lloyd. He’s been with us a long time. Seems cruel to let him go now after he lost his eye and everything.

Lloyd: Cruel? You’ve got to be cruel to be kind Jim. And the kind thing is to let him go before he embarrasses himself.

Jim: What?

Lloyd: Well, is it kind to let an arthritic dog hang around and play fetch just because he still wants to be a dog?

Jim: ...

Lloyd: When his existence is inseparable from doghood and that very thing is causing him excruciating pain?

Lloyd: Survival of the fittest Jim. Basic Darwinian principle. He wasn’t even that good when he had two eyes, and now he’s seeing 50% less.

Jim: Actually Lloyd, his refereeing has improved.

Lloyd: Hogwash Jim. Look at our road record since 2000, he's missing the point. And so are you. We’d be doing him a favor if we spared him the public scorn he'll suffer if he blows any more calls. The fans can be so cruel.

Jim: Hmmm. Maybe, you’re right Lloyd.

Lloyd: They’re probably already making fun of him. Sitting around, drinking beer and making fun of Jim. Posting their vitrole on their internet chat boards and blogs. The least we can do is spare him any further humiliation.

Jim: Gee Lloyd. I never looked at it that way. I thought, well, he wants to work and he’s been with us for five decades, so what’s the harm? But you're right Lloyd. I'll fire him.

Hooray For Sports Illustrated!

It's been a long boring offseason, but the light is finally emerging at the end of the tunnel. The Internet is turning up the College Football coverage so I thought I'd links to Sport's Illustrated's excellent update with previews of all 119 D-1A teams. There is enough here to prevent you from working for the rest of the week.

Take That ESPN Insider!

Last night my car was towed after a grump neighbor alleged that I was blocking his driveway. I'm feeling the weight of the man's foot on my neck, so I decided I've decided to strike back by egging said neighbor's house and doing my part to leak a little corporate content onto the blogosphere.

In events only related in my mind, Bruce Feldman just put out his pre-season Top 16 to add to the noisy littany of pre-season rankings out there. For those of you too cheap to subscribe to ESPN Insider, I'm writing with a leak of Feldman's top secret ranking in traditional, 5-7-5 haiku-condension format to avoid copyright infringement. Comments encouraged, as are personal Top 16s or more.

Here goes:

1.) West Virginia
returning back field
meets hungry o-line to feast
on weak big east slate

2.) Ohio State
mystery defense
troy smith is a real man
fear the sweatervest

3.) Auburn
they'll iron it out
on the ground in dixie's heart
where west is the best

4.) Notre Dame
ESPN loves
irish cock of brady quinn
smell a paper tiger?

5.) Texas
Rookie QBs vie
to fill a legend's old shoes
Mack Brown counts his cash

6.) Oklahoma
stout defense and
healthy adrian at back
make bob stoops hungry

7.) LSU
the bayou runs deep
but unless miles is god
there looms a road loss

8.) USC
matt leinart less troy
reloads with o-line and fast guys
but who will take snaps?

9.) Michigan
winds of coaching change
cool fans afire for wins
or lloyd carr's head rolls

10.) Miami
a fast ass defense
rocks like a hurricane can
larry sweats for wins

11.) Florida State
no coaching from old
man bowden means no problem at
all wit' d like this

12.) Georgia
get over the hump
you dawgs, but fat chance uga
the east bristles

13.) Cal
hippy dippy da
does flower power a new
champ for pac ten land?

14.) Florida
there's urban pride, sure
but a chris leak in the boat
may swamp the season

15.) Iowa
tate's the it boy in
the big ten, say media
who don't play football

16.) Louisville
as confucius said
its easy to win football
games in the big east

Just Missed the Cut: TCU, Penn State, Clemson, Texas Tech, Virginia Tech, Tennessee, Utah and Arizona State.

Jesus, writing 16 haikus is hard.

All You Never Cared to Know About I-AA Ball

I had this theory that the community of Pocatello, Idaho, home of the Idaho State Bengals of the I-AA Big Sky Conference, would be silly excited that Matt Gutierrez (erstwhile Michigan Wolverines quarterback and recent transfer) had joined their ranks. My hunch was that any I-AA team would be psyched to get a former QB from a I-A super power program, especially one as touted as a prep as Gutierrez was coming out of the De La Salle High School in California and being briefly anointed the Michigan starter.

So I googled 'Matt Gutierrez' to tap into the expected well of media hype and stumbled upon a website, Monsters & Critics, that bothered not only to identify, but to then rank all 101 I-AA football teams (including the Ivy League schools who cannot participate in I-AA's most redeeming feature - a post-season playoff which determines a single champion - and whose ranking is therefore sort of meaningless). Blechh.

(*As an aside the website mentioned above mostly sucks so my inclusion of them is by no means an endorsement. Here's why: With their marvelously, detailed and unnecessary coverage of I-AA I would have expected at least as much of their I-A College Football link, but it is broken as of the writing of this post. I'm giving them a chance to fix that link, or delete it and prove their flawed, experimental approach of exploiting the I-AA College Football 'niche.')

I can't imagine the research burden this must have presented to reporter Matt Dougherty who dutifully put together a snippet for each of these ridiculously obscure schools, despite the gloomy prospect of nobody actually giving a shit. Here's to Sisyphean tasks.

At the end there's tacked on a 'Mid-Major' list of 21 schools I had previously not heard of
(except for Valparaiso due to is periodic Cindarellaness in the NCAA Basketball Tourney). Anyone who can explain why these schools (not to be confused with team from I-A conferences like the Mountain West or Conference USA) are also referred to as mid-majors will when a personal check from me to you worth $2.

Anyway, congrats to Appalachian State for that #1 ranking, shame on you Savannah State for going 0-11 last season and being ranked dead last in college football's b-list ranking.

As for Gutierrez and Idaho State, they are ranked #23 coming off a 5-6 season in '05. That's a testament I think to the perceived improvement of the team based on the arrival of Gutierrez alone and a few state pen. and JC transfers.

You can check out the rankings if you care to HERE.

Does Anyone Rock More than The Hawk?

Dan Hawkins, currently the winningest (by percentage) coach in I-A is set to take over the Colorado Buffalo program and boy is this dude jazzed.

Check out these pictures and tell me if you don't think you could get excited about playing for this guy?

Look at how psyched he is here! It's springball in a motherfucking snowstorm but that smile's got infectious good vibes written all over it.

The secret behind the smile is having the best job in America - D-I College Football Coach.



To conclude: Dan Hawkins is ridiculously enthusiastic.

(Special 'Thanks' to Sports Illustrated and the fine, investigate sports journalism that produced these revealing photos of a happening headcoach hard at work.)

My friends say I'm exhibiting signs of addiction.

Every year I fall prey to the exploitationist media hype machine dubbed, rather largely, National Signing Day. What is it about the deprivation of the Off Season that drives any worth-his-salt College Football fan to click obsessively to the remotest corners of the internet for information on high school boys like the dope-fiend monkey feverishly ignoring his food and water buttons just for another sweet taste of heroin?

Or does anyone else feel that way?

Only to have the actual day be a soggy, deflating let down. Cause let's face it September's still 7 months away. By that time I will have forgotten half the names I've researched tirelessly when they're redshirted, slogging it out on special teams or mired in the 4th position (aka beartrap slot) on the depth chart. Some of them will transfer, some will quit the team, some will flunk the 12th grade and fade into oblivion. And then it's the two-star guy Tom "Creepy Coif Stupid Brain" Lemming blacklisted from Notre Dame that ends up being a star when I never remembered signing him at all.

The schlockmeisters at Rivals and Scout love this time of year, when their membership fees (like, paying to read gossip and hearsay) actually starts to look reasonable. They're no better than the drug pushers on Hippie Hill with their shaky, home-video highlight reels and intern-written "in-depth analysis."

Now that I've been seduced and burned again, you know what I'm saying, fuck that shit.

I know I'm not going to contribute anything to the recruiting discourse that hasn't already been said. (Like, it doesn't mean anything to rank recruiting classes.) But I just had to get that off my chest.