Grievances to Air

Switters is right. I’m fucking stewing on this terrible new idea that Notre Dame might get a rematch with Michigan in the Rose Bowl. He can sit back and laugh while tOSU awaits their draw for the Championship game, but these weeks are stressful outside of Buckeye Country.

But now I’ve collected my thoughts and courage to air my grievances:

*I was already leery of the idea of any rematch in a big bowl game, including Ohio State/Michigan, considering the idea of double-jeopardy an ill reward for a team that’s already put another down like a lame horse. So why should anyone in Michigan have to worry about their Bowl game sucking ass because of an unchallenging opponent whom they have already shellacked and whom in fact doesn’t even belong anywhere near the January bowl games? Despite the fact that these are rhetorical questions, meant to imply obvious answers, Ivan Maisel and a groundswell of lesser, mostly Internet-based ‘experts’ are on board here. If the big question is why? I’m going to give them the why not, as in the reasons that nobody wants to see this game again. Not coincidentally, these are also the main reasons Notre Dame sucks this year and should be BCS blacklisted immediately:

-Receivers can’t catch
-Defense can’t tackle
-Smug Ass QB
-Fat Ass Coach
-West Coast Offense Poseurs
-Faustian Deal for Automatic BCS Bowl Appearance (This is kind of making me thing the Devil sort of sucks too. I mean he’s the Master of Darkness and all, but this is more evil than I thought even He could be.)
-Has’t Won Big Since 1993 (see Florida State)
-Impressive Wins? Comebacks at Michigan State and at home against UCLA.
-47-21 in South Bend
-44-24 in Los Angeles

*Best remaining possible match-up for Michigan: LSU, and it’s not even close.

*I know we all agree that Brent Musburger is no Keith Jackson, so it’s not just my fear of change that makes me want to barf every time I hear the latest stillborn sentence that guy aborts from his shriveled old pie hole. So did anyone else cringe when he concluded that the “road to Glendale, Arizona is paved with Trojans!” on Saturday night? Aside from the number of disturbing visualizations that can go with that specific choice of phrasing, the whole idea of it is just stupid and not cool to say. His sidekicks, including Kirk Herbstreit and his smart, frosted-tips, were shocked speechless. What is there to say to that? How can you possibly respond? “Yes. You’re right Brent.” Get that old guy off the air before he poisons all of our minds with the idea that it is okay to say whatever bullshit passes through our minds as momentarily appealing. The worst part is that he’s getting paid for this non-sequitur blather and setting a poor example of how the elderly should descend quietly into obsolescence, particularly as Alzheimer’s (or old-fashioned, on-air drunkenness) spices up his speech with a wacky palate of off-color inanities.

*I know this isn’t appropriate in the least, but who’d have ever though it would be just $20 on the Clemson/South Carolina game that would separate the Quick and the dead. [Insert Comedic Drum Fill Here]. Read the story here if you don’t get it. And even if you do it’s probably not so much funny ‘ha-ha,’ as funny ‘peculiar’ or ‘tragic,’ actually.

*So far Youtube has failed to give me video of Kyle Wilson’s strip in the BSU/Nevada game. This would have made yesterday’s post a lot more EMPHATIC, and of course there’s also the truism that the world just needs to see a sweet strip like that whenever they get the chance. One of the best plays of 2006, bar none.